Thursday, February 17, 2011

Ho Shovelers XXX

INT. DAY. LIVING ROOM.

[A buff snow shoveler, played by legendary adult film actor Mik "The Broke Grad Student" Awake, enters the living room looking spent and carrying a snow shovel. There is a fetching young lady sitting in front of a fire.]

Mik: Phew. Well, miss. I'm done shoveling your driveway. That'll be 20 bucks.

Lady: Oh, rats! My husband keeps all the money, and he's at work now. Is there any other way I could repay you?

[Soft, jazzy porn music begins to play.]

Mik: I guess I could take a check.

[The lady leans against Mik as she peers out of the window behind him.]

Lady: Oooh, you made my driveway so clear. Now I can drive my car in and out and in and out...and iiiiiin....

Mik: Yeah, I guess that's the point of shoveling, right? So about that check...

Lady: You must be so hot and sweaty underneath all those layers. Maybe you should take your things off and sit by the fire.

Mik: That's awful emphatic of you, ma'am, but I have to go work on my creative writing thesis--

[Without another word, the lady begins to rip off the snow shoveler's clothes. It takes her 45 minutes: undoing boot straps and mittens and beanies and thermals and fleeces and parkas and scarves and shawls and underwear and under-underwear and three layers of sock and two layers of under-sock and uber-boots and quasi-galoshes. Until finally: Mik stands in her living room in nothing but his ratty boxers.]

Lady: Oh, your abs are so tight from all that shoveling. And your nipples are so hard. Do you always get this excited after shoveling driveways?

Mik: No, lady, they're hard because I'm fucking freezing. And frankly I don't know why you had me take off all my clothes in the first place. I just want my money. Can I borrow this afghan? Or can you turn the heat up in here or something?

[The lady, looking hurt, sashays over to the thermostat and cranks up the heat.]

Mik: Thank you. Now you can blow on my dong please.


TSS: 14 below

1 comment:

the shape of a bow said...

Ayi! Why did he have to be warm to be b****? lol