This morning began like any other morning: I unscrewed the cap to my bottle of vitamin D and popped one on the old tongue.
But then, in my morning grog, I lifted the vitamin bottle to my lips and a stream of tablets careened off my mouth. The bottle had never left my hand, but somehow I must have been hoping that it would transform into a glass of water.
I was on my knees and hands picking vitamins off the floor and started looking around to make sure no one in the empty kitchen had seen me do this. Luckily, there was only the hanging ivy plant (pictured).
Suddenly, I realized that the hanging ivy plant had a very caustic, unfriendly sense of humor and was making fun of me. It shed a couple of brown, dried-out leaves, which I recognized as the hanging ivy plant equivalent of calling someone a jag off.
So I watered it.
With vitamin D.
And then it got strong enough to blog, jag offs.
Hanging Ivy Plant