Needless to say, I think it couldn't have happened to a better ad. The first time I saw the one with the sound guy who drops the boom and marches out of the studio in the middle of the commercial, I laughed for, mmm, half-an-hour.
The more I thought about the prospect of an entire TV show, the more firmly I believed that I must contribute something. At least a scene. So, herewith, is a scene from my pilot.
Geico, feel free to holler at your boy.
Scene: Posh Bar. Evening.
CAVEMAN is sipping a Corona and talking to a gorgeous BRUNETTE, who is a bit tipsy and totally into him. The CAVEMAN is a bit distracted, paranoid glint in his eye.
BRUNETTE: So (giggle)...Oops
Her necklace falls into her cleavage. She frowns.
CAVEMAN: Oh. (embarrassed to have looked down her blouse)
BRUNETTE: No, my necklace. I've been holding it together with a piece of tape. It's got a missing link.
CAVEMAN: (momentarily intense) What?
BRUNETTE: My necklace...
CAVEMAN still glares.
BRUNETTE: God, you're so tense...(massages his shoulders) I like that...
CAVEMAN: I know...it's just these goddam commercials...They're so demeaning...But I can't stop doing them. They're just so lucrative. I've gotten all this money now. And I can't go anywhere without people saying something, which is cool, but...
RANDOM DUDE AT BAR: Hey, caveman?...Holy shit, Caveman!!! (laughing with his buddies and pretending to throw down a boom mike) "Not cool!" Hahaha!
BRUNETTE: Then why don't we get out of here?
BRUNETTE: (smiling) Yeah.
CAVEMAN: (smiling, snarling) Yeah?
BRUNETTE: (louder) Yeah?!
CAVEMAN smashes his bottle of Corona over her head. She clatters off the barstool and off camera.
The music skips. The bar goes silent. Awkward, awkward silence. CAVEMAN hasn't moved; he can't even believe what he's just done.
He looks back at the bartender who's on the phone possibly with the police. CAVEMAN throws a few bills on the bar, steps gingerly over her. HE walk-jogs towards the exit, then CAVEMAN is sprinting out the door.
CAVEMAN: (running, barely heard) Call me.