Friday, April 20, 2007

High Post 2: April Twentieth Address

My Fellow Americans,

I think it was the poet T. S. Bumbaclot who once wrote:

April is the irie-est month, pulling
Sensi out of the green land, rolling
Papers and ragga music, jamming
Natty roots and the -- Lawdamercy!

[Sirens!!! Horns!!! Lasers!!!]

Already, 2007 has proven an eventful year for us. Though the old modes of production are as strong as ever, we have devised new forms of technology allowing for an unparalleled level of transparency in government.

In culture, Collie Buddz, picking up where Snow (of "Informer" fame) left off, has stuffed a street anthem into Summer's gurgling pipe. Download the song if you haven't already. Play it at loud decibels from Eastern Parkway to 125th Street. From Washington Heights to the Village.

The New Babylon Times has even published a thinly-veiled puff piece by Thomas "Spark an" L. Friedman, a call for a weed-fueled America. We say to Mr. Friedman, "We, too, understand the 'The Power of Green.'" Wagwan:

Because a new green ideology, properly defined, has the power to mobilize liberals and conservatives, evangelicals and atheists, big business and environmentalists around an agenda that can both pull us together and propel us forward.

Eeeeeasy now, rude bwoy!

And though it's early, in next year's presidential race, we won't have just any Token Negro on the ticket. We will have a Toking Negro. Fa shizzle.

But alas. The year has not been without its setbacks. In early March, police walked up to an empty unlocked van in California and discovered $20 million in sweet, sweet sensi ya know. In other news, a nearby convenient store sold a month's supply of Little Debbie cakes to two denim-clad men.

Later that month, the nation suffered a great loss when the cops bumrushed an apartment in Washington Heights, coming away with 700 plants. What a waste. The place was found empty and no suspects were apprehended.

If there is a silver lining in these two incidents, it must be that someone has developed a formula for magic, smoker-vanishing, David Copperfield weed.

In sum, I exhort you, on this joyously beautiful spring day, to not only focus on puffing. And puffing again. Let us set our minds, first and foremost, to giving.

America must learn from our example. We must not get lost in the forest and lose sight of the trees.

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